Boom Go The Boomers | Dirty Old Man | Old Soldier |
The Idiom Song
I Forgive You | Flatten The Curve | Singer Songwriter Girlfriend | Bike Kitchen
Who's Gonna Get It When You Go | Folk Song Coming On | I'm An Introvert
Boom Go The Boomers
When your cancer is malignant
And you're wondering where your wig went
Cause it's time to get some chemo for your tumor
And your neighbor sees you bald
Soon there's no one she's not called
So you lie and tell them all it's just a rumor
We all, gotta go, I know but
Say it ain't so
Boom there goes another Boomer
When you're insulin's resistant
And the doctor's so insistent
That you leave the cake and ice cream off your plate
Then on your way to get the test
A stabbing pain shoots through your chest
The paramedics do their best, but it's too late
We all, gotta go, I know but
Say it ain't so
Boom there goes another Boomer
Boom go the Boomers
We had a van load of fun
Boom go the Boomers
Count yourself lucky
If you are one
Take courage my friend
There's nothing to fear
Don't call it the end, it's the
Final frontier
Say your goodbyes
We're droppin' like flies
Boom there goes another Boomer
You slip and fall at home alone
You can't get up, can't reach the phone
It seems like days, you're crying out, no one can hear
Wait, this is weird, you're looking down
You see you lying on the ground
Oh my god the cat is chewing on your ear
We all, gotta go, I know but
Say it ain't so
Boom there goes another Boomer
Boom go the Boomers
We had a van load of fun
Boom go the Boomers
Count yourself lucky
If you are one
Take courage my friend
There's nothing to fear
Don't call it the end, it's the
Final frontier
Say your goodbyes
We're droppin' like flies
Boom there goes another Boomer
LSD'n at the Be In at Golden Gate Park
You took my hand, looked in my eyes and said, 'Watch out, there's a narc.'
Into a tie dye sunset we took off in Kesey's bus
Made it out to Millbrook and with Tim we got deLearyus
Neal at the wheel dropped us off at Gaskin's Farm
Ina May birthed our babies Stephen wed us arm in arm
We built barns, grew vegies, and got good at self-reliance
Then headed back to Berkeley where I took computer science
Number 9 at Apple with Steve and the Woz
You and Larry Brilliant helped start Seva with Ram Dass
Like Wavy Gravy says we grew gardens in our heart
It's been a long strange trip, leaving you's the hardest part
Now it's anybody's guess
The doc says six months more or less
So while there's still a little time here's my idea
We'll put a camera in the room
All our friends right here on Zoom
A toast, a few good laughs then I'll say 'See Ya'
We all, gotta go, I know but
Say it ain't so
Boom there goes another Boomer
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Dirty Old Man
It's not fair what you're wearin'
Tell me who could keep from starin'
Girl I'm old but I'm not dead yet
Lord have mercy
I mean the way those shorts are cut
To accentuate your butt
One look could kill just ask my wife
Please don't let her see
I keep trying to look away
But it's in my DNA
We're wired this way it's Mother Nature's plan
When you're young and fine okay
She may even look your way
But after thirty you're a dirty old man
Sure it's hot outside, I get it
In the store it's cool, I bet it
Feels so nice right from the beach
In your bikini
In the checkout line behind
Pretending that I'm blind
Shear force of will or will my
Wife and daughter see me
I keep trying to look away
But it's in my DNA
We're wired this way it's Mother Nature's plan
When you're young and fine okay
She may even look your way
But after thirty you're a dirty old man
Twos and threes do as you please
Reach right out and have a squeeze
The bold young lad they won't get mad
They'll say he takes after his Dad
Then that feeling in your jeans
Means you've made it to your teens
Twenty, love's aplenty, find a bride son if you can
Cause after thirty you're a dirty old man
In the park he feeds the squirrels
Where he teases all the girls
Who think he's cute now that he's
Old, infirm and lame
But watch out for that old flirt
If you're wearing a short skirt
And he pretends to accidentally
Drop his cane
Yes until your dyin' day
Cs' it's in our DNA
We're wired this way it's Mother Nature's plan
When you're young and fine okay
She may even look your way
But after thirty you're a dirty old man
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Old Soldier
Old soldier old soldier you stand at half mast
And dream of those glorious battles long past
When into the fray you would ride hard and fast
The fires of testosterone raging
Now it seems though your saber has failed you at last
For your body is changing
Old soldier old soldier your head hanging low
So long since you've lain in love's sweet afterglow
Wrapped up in the arms of a newly won foe
So proud of the war you were waging
Now a stiff upper lip is all you'v got to show
For your body is changing
Oh how the mighty have fallen
Poor Johnson lies helpless and mute
And old captain Willy
He's been beaten half silly
Still he can't bring himself to salute
But old soldiers never die
They just fade away
Old soldier old soldier so silent and still
So long since you first charged up Blueberry Hill
Now the army of time's closing in for the kill
And no way to hold off the invasion
But you'll go down swinging with your little blue pill
For your body is changing
Yes old soldiers never die
They just fade away
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The Idiom Song
No bees
No work
Two wrongs don't make a right
Don't take a knife to a
In for a penny In for a pound
What goes around
All that glitters is not gold
Make new friends but
Hit the nail right on the head
It's the greatest thing since
No bees
No work
Where there's a will there's a way
Don't put off until tomorrow
Slow and steady wins the race
Lightning never strikes twice
The squeaky wheel gets the grease
Speak now or forever
I work my fingers to the bone
Let he without sin
No bees
No work
They say the best things in life are free
The apple never falls far
Alls well that ends well
He don't stand a snowball's
A chain is only as strong as its weakest link
You can lead a horse to water but you
A stitch in time saves nine
Your guess is as
No bees
No work
The grass is always greener on the other side
If wishes were horses
All for one and one for all
The bigger they are
Cross my heart and hope to die
You never miss the water till the
Don't ask don't tell
A thing worth doing
No bees
No work
Now run for cover or hold your ground
It's time to play the lightning Round
Barking up the wrong tree
Not my cup of
Foot loose and fancy
The powers that
Oh woe is
Between the devil and the
No bees
No work
Love at first sight
Let's call it a
Don't let the bedbugs
As high as a
In broad day
The customer is
No bees
No work
Don't blow your stack
Cut me some
A Monday morning quarter
A tough nut to
Sharp as a
That's like the pot calling the kettle
No bees
No work
Ready or not
Give it a
Strike while the iron's
Right on the
Hit the jack
Don't get your undies tied up in a
Now honest as the day is long
It's time to end The Idiom Song
A face that only a mother could love
An iron fist in a velvet glove
Go for broke or
Shave and a hair cut, two bits
Go for broke or
Shave and a hair cut, two bits
Shave and a hair cut, two bits
Shave and a hair cut, two bits
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I Forgive You
The evil nuns at summer camp who fed me bread and water
The brother at our Catholic school who hit us till we cried
That little girl I loved so dearly who dared me off the high dive
When the lifeguard had to save me she laughed I nearly died
I forgive you
After all you're only human
I forgive you
Besides who am I to judge
I forgive you
Everybody makes mistakes
I forgive you
Life's too short to hold a grudge
The dirty cops who beat us up for being teenage rebels
The teachers at my high school who could not have cared less
The way that Dad divorced us, moving on to greener pastures
I know he had to do it, but Mom was such a mess
I forgive you
After all you're only human
I forgive you
Besides who am I to judge
I forgive you
Everybody makes mistakes
I forgive you
Life's too short to hold a grudge
My very first forever love, who couldn't keep her pants on
My father-figure boss who stabbed us in the back
All the liars and con artists, double-crossers and betrayers
Like my brothers in the union who sold us out and took the cash
I forgive you
After all you're only human
I forgive you
Besides who am I to judge
I forgive you
Everybody makes mistakes
I forgive you
Life's too short to hold a grudge
All the angry voices in my head,
Recall the things they said
Or did, or didn't
Forgive... forget and let it go
By now it should be so
But no, it isn't
The grumpy guy who stares me down each morning when I'm shaving
That dude over my shoulder I just wish would go away
Then there's Mr. 'See I Told You' and his buddy 'You're a Loser'
I need to sit them down together and teach them how to say
I forgive you
After all you're only human
I forgive you
Besides who am I to judge
I forgive you
Everybody makes mistakes
I forgive you
Life's too short to hold a grudge
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Flatten The Curve
Hands, wash them often in your
Elbow cough or sneeze
Don't touch your face and keep your
Space please stay at home.
An early morning shopping caper
To score some toilet paper
If I'm lucky I'll surprise her
With some hand sanitizer
You've got the will
And I've got the nerve
If we stay apart together
We can flatten the curve
So shelter in place
Don't touch your face
Wash your hands wash your hands wash your hands
The virus is resilient
So say Bill Gates and Larry Brilliant
They've been warning us for years
But their words fell on deaf ears
You've got the will
And I've got the nerve
If we stay apart together
We can flatten the curve
So shelter in place
Don't touch your face
Wash your hands wash your hands wash your hands
There seems to be resistance
To the Governor's instance
I can't believe we have to ask
People please put on your mask
You've got the will
And I've got the nerve
If we stay apart together
We can flatten the curve
So shelter in place
Don't touch your face
Wash your hands wash your hands wash your hands
Hands, wash them often in your
Elbow cough or sneeze
Don't touch your face and keep your space...
Poor Dr. Li tried to warn the world, he was shut
down by the security police
While we all watched he died a
Hero may he rest in peace
Could there be a silver lining
Our attitudes aligning
Consensus finally forming
It's time to take on Global warming
You've got the will
And I've got the nerve
If we stay apart together
We can flatten the curve
So shelter in place, don't touch your face
Report every case, test track and trace, and
Take the advice of Ignaz Semmelweis
Vashen zie hands peeples
Vas are you sinking?
Vashen zie hands
Vheis yo mask
Vashen zie hands!
Happy Birthday to you...
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Singer Songwriter Girlfriend
She'll have big hits and a way with words
We'll be two genius songwriter nerds
Lounge around in bed till mid afternoon
Making love and drinking coffee while we craft another tune
She'll have a knack for coining a phrase
Finish a line in nine different ways
Come to my rescue in the nick of time
With a couple of couplets, or a perfect rhyme
A singer songwriter girlfriend
A singer songwriter gal
Quick with a laugh, and a heart of gold
Like the records on our wall for each one million sold
We may have our differences, but still see eye to eye
She could be with ASCAP, I'm with BMI
A singer songwriter girlfriend
A singer songwriter gal
Maybe her folks met on the stage
And fell madly in love on Broadway
A child of the theater
She'd watch from the wings
And that would explain
How she dances and sings
Now I'm over that bridge
Just verse chorus out
And though hope springs eternal
I'm starting to doubt
So if maybe you know her
You could pass this along
We're so long overdue with our...
Award winning, top of the charts, going double platinum, Grammy nominated
The whole world is listening to our love song
A singer songwriter girlfriend
A singer songwriter gal
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Bike Kitchen
We grease squeaky wheels
Pump air and fix flats
We've got bikes for the kids
Cool tee shirts and hats
Lights locks & horns
Bells and reflectors
Hard to find parts for you
Old bike collectors
Hola and Buenos Dias
Our motto is not me us
At the Bike Kitchen
We all pitch in
You'd like some advice
C’s your bike's on the fritz
Your Whatchamacallit
Has Just called it quits
You need a few parts
A sprocket a spoke
You've got a flat tire
But you're flat broke
No worries my man
Just pay what you can
Down at the Bike Kitchen
We all pitch in
We're a rag tag team
Of volunteers
Old grey geezers
Kids with plugs in their ears
With one thing in common
That keeps us on track
We care about community
And giving back
LGBTQ
And BLM too
Down at the Bike Kitchen
We all pitch in
In addition to our mission
As a bike coalition
We take the position
That it's time to transition
To improve the condition
And bring to fruition
Total remission of carbon emission
You'd like to help out
Be part of the crew
But when it comes to bikes
You just don't have a clue
That won't be a problem
There's plenty of room
If you don't push a pencil
You can push a broom
One for all and all for one
That's how we get the job done
Down at the Bike Kitchen
We all pitch in
Down at the Bike Kitchen
We all pitch in
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Who's Gonna Get It When You Go
It's not that we don't love ya
But, you're getting on and, so
Well, we can't help but wonder
If you're going to let us know
All that stuff that you've acquired
All your property, your dough
Who's gonna get it when you go...
The golden touch, you struck it rich
As rich as any king
But you can't take it with you
So we were wondering... oh
Who's going to get it when you go
Who's going to get it when you die
Who'll be gathered round the table
When the lawyers divvy up the pie
Who'll be crying all the way to the bank, with their heads hung low
Who's going to get it when you go
Who's going to get it when you go
Who's going to get it when you pass
Who'll be packing up their troubles in the old kit bag
And headed for the upper class
With their wallets fat and happy and a heavy sack of woe
Who's going to get it when you go
Who's going to get it when you go
Who's going to get it when you bite the dust
Will you fill their pockets full of cash
Or leave it in a charitable trust
Who's gonna be a sad and sorry lucky so and so
Who's going to get it when you go
Who's going to get it when you go
Who's going to get it when you meet the Lord
Who's going to run the family firm
Who'll take your seat on the board
When St. Peter comes a calling
And the horns of heaven blow
Who's going to get it when you go
Ask your wives and children
They'll say there's nothing to discuss
Ask your relations
They'll say now don't forget about us
If you ask the lawyer
He'll say put it in a trust
And it will still be goin' strong long after you are dust
If we ask the doctor
She'll say donate it to research
If we ask the preacher
He'll say leave it to the church
But if we ask Mother Mary
Looking down from above
She'll say gather up the children and smother them in love
A billion hungry people with their hands out in a row
Can I get a witness
Gonna put his name on the dotted line
Can I get another witness
You need two to watch you sign
Now it's not for me to say
But why wait for judgment day
When you could give it all away right now
Right now? While I'm still here?
Give it away
Like go down to the bank and just hand it out?
Give it away
Oh you're talking like eye of the needle, camel, that kind of thing?
Give it away
Well my sister could use a little cash
Give it away
And my brother... always
Give it away
There's that little league team that needs the new uniforms
There's that girl's school in Afghanistan
I could start a scholarship and probably live long enough to see some of those kids graduate and become doctors
Gonna give it away
Gonna give it away
Hmm... make a clean break of it
Shuffle off this mortal coil with empty pockets
I like it
A billion hungry people with their hands out in a row
Who's gonna get it when you go
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Folk Song Coming On
The Wind in my hair
The sunset through the trees
The smell of lilac in the air
The buzzing of the bees
Tears in her eyes
Knowing I will soon be gone
I feel a folk song comin' on
Tires on the highway
And a wistful kind of longing for a
Feeling of the future
Back when I was a lad
With my guitar on my back
A few dollars in my pocket
Times were hard but getting better
Maybe the best I ever had
I feel a folk song comin' on
My body sore and tired
My hands covered in dirt
M' lady at the table
Sewing up my Sunday shirt
For tomorrow we shall marry
And dance until the dawn
I feel a folk song comin' on
That train whistle blowin'
A-calling me to wander
But there comes a time in each man's life
When he must take a bride
Yes the man who was the boy
Begets the child that starts it over
That big unbroken circle
Rollin' 'cross the great divide
I feel a folk song comin' on
An old man by the fire
Loading up his pipe
Thinking back on the days of spring
When the plums were firm and ripe
Yes a long and happy life
Full of wine women and song
I feel a folk song comin' on
So very many miles
Since this train first left the station
The rolling hills and the lumber mills
And the folks all down the line
Now we've reached our journey's end
I don't know and won't pretend to know
What's waiting round the bend my friend
Your guess is good as mine
I feel a folk song comin' on
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I'm An Introvert
I'm an introvert
Up here on the stage
I'm an introvert
Please enjoy but don't engage
I may seem warm and friendly
But looks can be deceiving
And the minute my set's over
I'll be packing up and leaving
I'm an introvert
Crowds of people make me nervous
I'm an introvert
Uptight but at your service
I love to sing my songs
But I'm not that good at talking
So if you see me in the parking lot
Just nod and keep on walking
I'm an introvert
Probably somewhere on the spectrum
I'm an introvert
A recluse with a plectrum
It's stressful to be up here
And hard on the old ticker
But it makes me smile, it's all worthwhile
When I hear you people snicker
In my youth I was a loudmouth
A brash obnoxious twit
Desperate for success to top the charts to score a hit
But bad luck, or average talent
Either way I was defeated
And tail between my legs into my shell
I retreated
I'm an introvert
Thanks for coming to the show
I'm an introvert
Check out my merch before you go
If you want to take a selfie,
A shot or two won't bug me
But I'm begging you, whatever you do
Please don't try to hug me
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